What Women Want…(From Men During Birth)

“For birth to work the way nature intended, women need…to be encouraged, comforted, and supported emotionally and physically by knowledgeable, trustworthy [people].” — McGrath, 2007

I believe there are three main things women want from their men while giving birth:

  1. Presence
  2. Protection
  3. Pleasure

1. Presence

You are a stabilising force. Your presence reveals your commitment to her. Your physical and emotional presence will be a comfort to her. It’s more about your presence than your words. Though a timely ‘You’re doing great babe’ never goes astray!

2. Protection

Protect the vulnerability of your woman. As she goes deeper and deeper into her labour reassure her with your presence that you’re not going anywhere. You’re right there with her. She’ll feel your steadiness—you’ll be highly attuned to it. Take time to understand what she wants her birth to be like. Explore her dreams and desires for this life-changing moment, and commit yourself to protect that experience by (i) learning about birth while she’s pregnant, (ii) helping her get setup for her birth and (iii) being willing to tell people no, if need be, during labour so your woman has space to do her thing.

3. Pleasure

Investing in your wife’s birth is like investing in Apple stocks…in the 90s. It flippin’ pays off! Your future self will thank you! If she has a pleasurable non-traumatic birth experience you will likely get back to sex sooner (days or weeks, instead of weeks or months). A powerful birth can also bring with it newfound confidence. To have a positive birth experience the World Health Organisation recommends 1:1 midwifery care through pregnancy, labour and after birth with the same midwife or group of known midwives. This type of support means she’ll likely have a quicker labour, and less painful complications. Again, better outcomes means more sex, sooner. I know I’m harping on this point, but it’s a motivation, isn’t it? An orgasm in labour could be a welcome distraction also.

What can you do right now, today?

i) Book her an appointment with a private midwife in your area.
ii) Book a Discovery Call with me to talk about your goals.