This article is based on a note I wrote in my journal on 2 August 2018 at 9.35pm. All the words in brackets were added for the publishing of this article.
I just had my dating ultrasound scan. I’m 14 weeks and three days. Due 2 April 2019. Exactly what I thought. I guessed that, and I was right! I am in tune with my body. (I chose to have one ultrasound scan in each of my pregnancies.)
It was so so beautiful to see my lovely baby swimming and squirming. How glorious!! My baby is so beautiful.
The 30-something sonographer was pleasant enough in her words, but the undertone of her energy was stagnant and fear-based. She said sternly to me twice, “You need to come back in five weeks. It is imperative. I need to check your baby has all its bits. They’re too small right now for me to check.” (She referred to the morphology scan, which is recommended to pregnant mamas around 18-20 weeks gestation).
She said a version of this twice. With MUCH emphasis! And both times, I was silent. I did not address her or even nod. Not out of anger or powerlessness. I had lots to say! But I knew it wasn’t the context. I didn’t need to convert her to my beliefs—her heart didn’t seem open to that anyway. She was content with her fear reproducing ways.
1) I believe my baby is healthy!
I have absolutely no reason to doubt this. This is my first stance and my core belief.
2) I’m not interested in terminating my pregnancy.
If there was some type of anomaly picked up in a scan, I would absolutely continue with the pregnancy. So when you say ‘I need to check the baby has all their bits’, that still doesn’t change my resolve! I am invested in their life. (Scans are sometimes conducted to allow the mother/parents to abort the child if abnormalities are found).
3) Ultrasound scans are not always accurate.
Each radiology clinic specifically identifies this in their terms and conditions, which every mother being scanned has to sign.
The bottom line is… an ultrasound scan is not where I put my trust. I won’t rely on the scan to reassure me that I have a healthy, whole baby. (If my peace is based on anything other than the nature of God’s goodness, then I have opened myself up for disappointment on life’s terms.)
So, there’s no judgment if you want a scan. Or if you don’t. Whatever you do, do it in conviction and with faith, not from a place of reactionary fear or because a policy somewhere says you have to.